How my son’s desire to run the NYC Marathon determined my worth – Part I

September 8, 2009 · 3 comments

Those of you who read about me, you know I stopped working so that I can stay home, to be available, for my family while my kids are still young. But, like all “stay-at-home-moms” who occasionally question their value, monetary or otherwise, I’ve had my share of days of questioning mine. I would wonder on those uncertain days, “Was giving up my career, in middle of my prime, a smart move to stay home with my kids?”

This past Labor Day weekend definitely answered that question, with a resounding, “Well, heck, YEAH!”

Let me rewind as to ‘how’ and ‘when’ this strange turn of event made me realize what my value is, as a Mom of, otherwise, semi-ho-hum average kids.

Over our usual sit down family dinner one night last week, my seventeen-year-old son, “A”, announced that he wants to run the New York City (NYC) Marathon this November. “Oh, and pass the bread please.” “What??!??!!!”, I exclaimed. Now, mind you, he doesn’t run regularly, he NEVER ran a race, not even a “children’s fun run” at some local charity events, or at school. But he thought it was something he would like to try. A lofty, albeit admirable, goal, I thought, especially since 1) NYC marathon course goes through five boroughs. (can’t even think about driving through five boroughs in one day, never mind, running through them), 2) runners train months, sometimes, years, to run in a marathon (well, you have to have “thoughts” before they become “acts”, right? OK, so, I give him that, but still, running 26.2 miles through NYC?) 3) NYC Marathon runners are lean gazelles from all over the world with trainers, sponsors, nutritionists, coaches, and fancy running shoes. (all he has is his visual image of him crossing the finish line with his arms up in the air while listening to “Eye of the Tiger” playing in his iPod. Cute, I thought. What a card.) But frankly, I think I secretly didn’t want to be on the news as that faithful mother waiting at the finish line for three days after the race started, waiting for her dogged son to finally cross the finish line, long after the media and the spectators have left…although that could have been my fifteen minutes of fame.

Back to the dinner table…

“A”‘s fourteen year old, “partner-in-crime”, sister “E”, on the other hand, didn’t want to have anything to do with it. “Good luck with that”, she quipped. But he didn’t take “No” for an answer. No. He wanted her to train with him. He thought, it would be good for her. For “her”. “Thanks for thinking of me, but no thanks” was her answer to his volunteering her as his training partner and continued to eat her salad.

So we went back and forth to entertain A’s epiphany over Spaghetti and Meatball dinner last week.

17 year old U.S. Open 2009 tennis phenom, Melanie Oudin's "Believe" Tennis Shoes. Click the photo for the full story.

But we learned… he was serious. He “believed” he can do it. And he wanted to do it this year because once he’s in college, he said he would not have the time to train or run in November of a school year, so, it had to be this year. So armed with his brazen argument, he Googled “NYC Marathon”. Unfortunately, he found out that registration closed back in April, 2009 (Yes, people do plan that far away when they want to run a marathon – it doesn’t happen over a Spaghetti and Meatball dinner, two months before the race). And when he looked at the map of the course snaking through five boroughs around Manhattan, he realized that may be, he did have a tad bit of a ‘reach’ goal. Really? I thought, trying hard to hide my cynical smirk.

Now, mind you, this is what I stayed home for…to be around my kids to nurture their dreams and goals, guide them when they are lost, and encourage them when they are in despair. But agreeing with him passively, that running a NYC marathon is a great idea, albeit ill prepared, is not what I had pictured as part of my responsibility. As much as I am their best cheerleader and the biggest fan, I am the type of a Mom who calls a spade a spade. I’m not one of those doting parents who says “Aw….that’s beautiful, honey. You are such a great artist” when the artwork is so scarily ugly that I’m afraid I’ll get nightmares looking at them. (This actually did not happen but I was just trying to illustrate my point.)

I digress. Going back to “A”….

When we realized he couldn’t run in the NYC Marathon this year, (by the way, he vowed he will, some day) we looked at other races and saw half marathon and 5K races. I suggested that he might want to try a half marathon instead! Frankly, I didn’t even know there were such races. I knew there were 5K’s and 10K’s but never heard of half marathons. What do I know? He agreed but still wanted his sister to train with him and wanted her to run the 5K. Why train all that way and not put to a good use? “How long is 5K?” She asked. Now, he had her attention. Still, “A” running 13.1 miles and “E” running 3.1 miles? I still had my doubts but at least this goal wasn’t that impossible, I thought. For one thing, there were many half marathons and 5K in the fall that he can try to test his running shoes for himself. And second, 13.1 miles is definitely shorter than 26.2 miles. I didn’t even need a calculator to determine that.

Bronx River Parkway - the pathway where we tested our running shoes

So, my husband took them for a run after coming home one day, after deciding that they would at least, may be, try to run to see if they can even make it to three miles, never mind thirteen miles. Without even a pedometer, they just roughly measured that “A” ran about four miles and “E” “ran and walked” three miles. Then, I took them out three days later and “A” ran eight miles and “E” and I ran and walked four miles. Don’t ask me how running, haphazardly, those two times became to be the determining factor but that night, we registered them for the “Oak Hill Half Marathon and 5K” in Geneseo, NY; “A” for the half marathon and “E” for the 5K. And what’s more, the event was going to benefit Genesee Valley Nature Conservancy. How great is that? We were psyched.

We have good friends who live about an hour away from Geneseo and “A” and “E” decided to enlist their long time 13-year-old friend, “J” to run the 5K with “E”. “J” plays AYSO soccer and plays basketball in a league so he was intrigued by the idea of running a 5K. Besides, his mother enticed him with prizes that he would receive if he finished in top three in his age category. He was game.

So we packed up the kids’ running shoes and their iPods to spend the Labor Day weekend with some good friends in upstate New York and to watch what would happen with these few rogue teenagers who decided, on a whim, that they would try to run in a race that they never even thought of two weeks ago.

I was even more intrigued about the event by the fact that the proceeds will benefit the Genesee Valley Conservancy, a non-profit organization that is dedicated to open space preservation in the Genesee Valley region in upstate New York. According to the information on the website, the runners would be running through the oak tree savannas and farmlands. How exciting! This sounded like a great cause and I was psyched about the weekend for more than one reason.

Tune in tomorrow to find out what happened at the race and how I found my self worth.