How my son’s desire to run the NYC Marathon determined my worth – Part II

Oak Tree Half Marathon and 5K Run/Walk

Since 2005, the Oak Tree Half Marathon and 5K Run/Walk event has taken place in a beautiful setting of Geneseo, NY, all the while supporting the conservation efforts of the Genesee Valley Conservancy (GVC) and the Geneseo Central School Cross Country Team. This USA Track and Field certified course was on paved (60%) and dirt roads (40%) through the National Historic Landmark village of Geneseo and the Nations Road Grasslands, identified as an Important Bird Area by the National Audubon Society. The course also goes past the majestic Oak Tree savannas of the Genesee Valley and 16 GVC protected properties. (“A” would later tell me, he actually, took in the vistas while running and noticed the farm lands, the trees, the dirt roads – all the while trying not to trip over pebbles and rocks, and the breeze from the shady trees kept him from overheating…a plus for running in the country side and not through the city streets, without a trace of a tree.)

Over 400 runners and walkers, from ages seven to seventy six years old, participated this past Labor Day weekend and runners came from as far as Washington State. There were 250 participants for the 5K and 162 participants for the Half Marathon. There were all kinds of runners; some serious looking ones with negative body fat and skimpy running shorts, some looked like my kids – donned with regular t-shirts, gym shorts and inexpensive running shoes, some were old and some were young but all of them had smiles on their faces, ready to run to see where their potential lie. It was a perfect weather for running and the three kids were ready. The three novice running partners had iPods in their ears (“A” had all of Rocky songs and other inspirational theme music to help him visualize) and they were taking in the adrenaline not only from it flowing through their own veins but from exuding from other runners as well. This race was not like running with their Dad or Mom. Their comrades were running with them, keeping them company, keeping their spirits up, nudging them to run a little faster, and encouraging them to finish, no matter what.

So they took off, at different times, but we cheered them on and we waited for their safe return while laughing about how crazy and wonderful our kids are. I took that time to read up on the Genesee Valley Conservancy and learned all the great things they are doing for this small farming community, tucked away in upstate New York. Oh goody, a great blog topic, I thought. That would be part three of this long winded story.

The Result

The first one to finish was “J”.  As he entered the Geneseo Central School’s grounds, the announcer said, “Look at that little boy sprinting along. Where is the burst of energy coming from?” But then, unbeknown to all of us as to why, he slowed down after he entered the track area. He, then, sprinted across the finish line when he realized he wasn’t done. I will never forget the look on his face as he crossed the finish line, gasping for air, looking triumphant, nevertheless. He was able to mouth the words, “I don’t know where “E” is. I sprinted after about a mile because I had to go to the bathroom so badly”, before sprinting again, to the bathroom. We almost peed in our pants laughing.

Then, came “E”, eight minutes later. As she rounded the street into the driveway of the school, she had a bright beaming smile on her face, while passing other runners in her Nike shirt, as if she didn’t even need to breathe. The announcer announced her name, that she was only fourteen years old, that this was her first 5K, and that she’s all the way from NYC. I was almost in tears with pride. Then, she slowed down and started to walk around the track. OMG! Keep running, I screamed. She, too, thought she was finished when she heard the announcer. Then, something made her realize she wasn’t done so she sprinted around the ¼ of the track and finished the race at 33:48.40. Her shirt wasn’t even wet but her cheeks were bright red, glowing with happiness that she finished her first 5K….in  respectable time. I was so proud of her. She told me that right side of her rib cage was cramping at one point so she had to walk a little and then sprinted to catch up for the lost time. Who cares how long it took; she finished a 5K race! I thought.

I smiled ear-to-ear and had tears in my eyes while my hubby gave her a bear hug and told her how she should be very proud of her accomplishment. And that we were proud too. Then, “A” came into my mind.

Calculating his past records and converting them to 13.1 miles in my head, I wasn’t expecting “A” to finish his race, honestly, in another two hours. Oy. Now, what do we do to kill time for the next two hours. Go into town and explore Geneseo? How many cups of coffee can I drink? Read some more about GVC?

Then, the first runner for the half marathon came into the track with the entire crowd cheering him on. Holy cow, in one hour and seventeen minutes? He was the brother of the 5K winner! And their sister won the girls under 14 category for the 5K too! That was something to watch. Three siblings winning in one day. Wow. Then, the two kids got antsy. They had their post-race foods, drinks, souvenirs, and pats on their backs. Now, they were wondering where “A” was and when he was going to finish.

We patiently waited while watching the 5K awards ceremony for the top three runners and still beaming with pride that my daughter just finished her first 5K. Meanwhile, the records were posted and the two kids displayed a hint of “I could have done better” looks on their faces when they realized that other runners squeaked them by, finishing ahead of them by seconds. They discussed….only if they didn’t slowed down once they entered the track area, only if she didn’t get the cramp, only if he reached farther in his steps, only “if”, “if”, “if”,…… Well, there’s always next time, I said. And they reluctantly agreed.

The awards ceremony was finished and we were once again, getting anxious. We went down to the final stretch of a road that runners would come down before turning into the high school track and waited for a glimpse of  “A”. We got excited when we thought we saw him but when I saw what time it was, I knew it wasn’t him. There was no way he  would finish in less than two hours. (I told you I was honest about my kids’ abilities.) Then, about ten minutes passed and “J” and “E” who were farther down the road than I was, started waving their arms like crazy. By the looks of their bodies jumping up and down and their arms flagging, it was “A”. I couldn’t believe it. It was just about two hours since the race started. How was that possible? I was bewildered. I quickly turned on the video camera to capture his face as he approached. He put his arms up and punched them in front of him, like he was ‘Rocky’ on top of the Philadelphia court building, as he passed me. I raced down to the track to capture him and managed to get to the front of the finish line. His arms went up above his head, like a marathon man as he crossed the finish line with the biggest smile I’ve seen on him in a long time.

My seventeen-year-old son finished a Half Marathon, that’s 13.1 frigging miles, non- stop, in 2:07:47.63. And equally impressively, my fourteen-year-old daughter, who whines at anything that requires her “moving”, finished a 5K, that’s 3.1 miles, in 33:48.40!! And as an added bonus, their long time friend who got “dragged” into the race at the last minute can add a feather in his cap as finishing a 5K at a ripe tender age of thirteen, clocking in at 25:02.28. I never even knew how long those courses were or how fast people run marathons until last Saturday. More importantly, I didn’t know my kids were that ambitious or motivated about running. “A” told me later that when he was crossing the finish line, Rocky’s theme song was ending on his iPod. I don’t think he could have planned it better even if he tried but more than that, his visual image of him crossing the finish line to the tune of Rocky became a reality.

I can go on to talk about the post race scenes and the back and forth banter that took place but I think you can imagine that for yourself. Put it simply, there were a lot of “awesome”, “proud”, “great”, “unbelievable”, “Rocky”, “cool”, “NYC Marathon” and other similar words were repeated again and again. There were also long foot rubs, post race timing talks, next race plans, and a lot of beaming smiles.

This experience reiterated so many profound parenting lessons that I innately knew already. Reading about them in books and intellectualizing it is one thing but feeling it, to the bone, was a completely different holistic experience.

1)    Never underestimate your “value” as a Mom. Your presence, your being there, while they are going through something, positive or negative, is priceless. This is just my personal observation about my particular situation but my witnessing my son’s desire to do something when his initial verbal expression took place can not pale by comparison to hearing about it after a long exhaustive day before I put my briefcase down. Being present while he had his epiphany about running the NYC Marathon cannot be recreated or replayed.

2)    Love and support your kids’ ideas and dreams no matter how crazy and out of this world they may be. They just may come true and surprise the pants out of you…like “A”’s visual image of crossing the finish line while playing Rocky’s theme song in his iPod really came true in his real race. We all heard how visual imagery or guided imagery is a powerful tool in helping us achieve our goals but who knew, intellectually, that would actually happen? I don’t think he even knew, consciously.  But it happened.

3)    Come up with plan ‘B’. As I said in the post, I am very honest to my kids about their abilities and their limitations. Oh, I encourage them plenty when I think that’s all they need because I know that they are talented.  But I suggest plan “B” if I don’t think they can muster their original plan without demoralizing them…like suggesting running a half marathon instead of NYC Marathon to start. I’m sure he would have realized that sooner or later but suggesting running in a half marathon or 5K, before the NYC marathon, helped him to devise a more reachable short term goal and to plan his long-term goal, the NYC Marathon. Helping him register, plan, and running with him made the journey that much more easier.

4)    Pat yourself on the back. This is what this series was about. I know I forget to do this often. I don’t give myself credit when it comes to my kids’ accomplishments.  I automatically question, “Where did I go wrong?” when my kids don’t do as well. But when they do well, I don’t say to myself, “I’ve done good.” But where would they be if it wasn’t me encouraging them, driving them to where ever they need to be, complimenting them when they deserve it, and critiquing, not criticizing, them when they need it. So, while I believe their failures and their achievements are kids’ to reflect and relish, they are also a reflection of my job as their mom. I should be proud that they achieve their goals and cross the finish lines on a daily basis in the race called, “Life” but I should also be proud that I am valuable in the process and that I was there for them every step of the way.

Tomorrow’s final post is about the Genesee Valley Conservancy and what they are doing to protect the environment in Genesee Valley, NY.