A New Family Dynamic: When Your Kids Don’t Leave Home in their 20’s


It used to be an almost automatic rite of passage that your kids either went to university and never came back home or they flew the nest anyway to start a life of independence.

That is not the case anymore and there are plenty of families where older children are still under the same roof as their parents beyond their 20’s.

This new family dynamic creates certain challenges and it could be argued that certain aspects of this arrangement such as understand the benefits of hearing aids rather than turning the TV volume up too loudly could help maintain a harmonious atmosphere.

Here is a look at how to deal with having your kids with you for longer in the family home to ensure the wellbeing of the entire family.

It pays to be honest and open

Suffering in silence while you fund the bulk of your adult child’s living expenses and not saying anything when you are tidying up after them will only create a level of tension over a period of time.

Tell your child how you feel about the arrangement and encourage them to bear some of the responsibility of keeping the house running and paying the bills where they can.

If you feel that your child is placing a burden on you, financially and socially, by living with you for an extended period of their young adult life it is always best to tell them how you feel and discuss a way of making the arrangement work for everyone.

Understand the challenges they face

It is always helpful to try and see things from a different perspective and while some children seem to steadfastly refuse to grow up and become a responsible adult the majority would love to gain their independence and fly the family nest.

Unfortunately, the economic reality for many young adults is that even when they have a job the cost of living and the price of housing and rents makes it almost impossible for some to move out because it is beyond their means.

Not all adult children live with their parents beyond their 20’s through choice or lack of motivation to do something about the situation. Understanding this dilemma can often make it easier to work together to find a way to make living under one roof work.

Avoiding the disconnect

Life for the current young generation is very different from the world you brought them into as parents and it is easy for your child to spend a good part of their day with their eyes on a screen.

This can lead to your child becoming disconnected from family life, which makes it difficult when you are a parent and don’t seem to have as much interaction with them as you would like.

The technological revolution is seemingly widening the gap between parents and children, but that is an opportunity to share each others knowledge and experience in order to ensure that this new family dynamic works as well as possible, until the time comes when they are able or willing to leave the family home.

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  • Hi there…

    I believe that anyone can create a flexible, natural lifestyle without a ton of stress!


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